Keyboard Scrabble

KEYBOARD SCRABBLE

Shrieking rotating chairs, shouting assholes, chattering nonsense. A so called computer lab filled with handicap students and non-handicap students  or the non handicap students that slide over the ceramic cream color tiles with the wheel chairs with little wheels. The teacher indulged in his sown horrendous duties. Boredom surrounds me. My screwed up mind vibrates. I become the devil and my workshop kick-starts.

The ancient white idiot boxes lie switched off like dormant zombies, waiting to get their asses kicked and get their bodies re-buried.

I see them, they see me and then they see my writometer. I approach them with the pen. Do hell with those 15”/17” CRT, they aren’t my target, I am interested in something that lays lower, THE KEYBOARD.

New and old, black and white keyboards lay in their graves i.e the scrolling drawers. My mind tweaked my hands, and they followed the pen to crack the code.

I inserted the pen tip, under the key to be displaced, and then under the key to be inserted, fast but stealthily. Determination, danger, will, wickedness circled my head as I played with the keys. F1,F2,F3,F4 turned SEXY and F5,F6,F7,F8 changed their sexes to become GIRL.

Not to mention the multiple keyboards I  screwed up with the “F” word.

Hell if I can do it, why not you. The most enjoyable thing about the useless Keyboard Scrabble is that it might slaughter your boredom, though it might do the same with you, if the keyboard ain’t yours. But what’s the fun if you do It on your keyboard.

The most suitable gaming parlors for Keyboard Scrabble are school computer labs, cyber cafes, friend’s/foe’s computer when he/she might not be present.

Get ready, start bashing and mashing!

SPECIAL ARTIFICIAL INTELLEGENCE

SPECIAL ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

My computer knows me better than I do… or it just cares for me… It has got some special artificial intelligence that whenever my examination gives a knock, it locks itself in weird ways, cringes my head with its infertility.

It tries everything, every damn’ thing to frustrate me  and divert my attention from it to me.

It handles my abuses, spanks and nuisances, but still it continues its Satyagraha and Gandhigiri to force  me to immerse myself in the disastrous tree waste i.e. the damned textbooks, so I can atleast pass in the exams.

In 2007, it screwed my head with frequent restarts like it was shivering with malaria, in its case I was the plasmodium.

I tried the non-Gandhian way at the C.P.U (since I suck at hardware messing). I slapped it with variations of forces and velocities, and sometimes it worked, just like a kid beaten by its parent, cries for a minute and then the kid is back to his hell.

Finally I called those S.O.B. computer engineers who show tantrums for a week or two, ignoring calls, handling them and making erratic excuses, as if they have made a deal with telecom companies, so that the moron whose computer turns moron has to shell out the money on telephone calls first and then on those damn bastards.

Now as my half yearly Ist semester exams shrieks are getting nearer and nearer, the Computer is back to haunt me so that I could finally study after wasting a whole lot of months on it.

Now its hanging, crashing, grunting, growling, turning sufi songs into heavy metal. And if that wasn’t enough, it increased the corruption levels by corrupting the windows.

An d now its suffocating along with me. Hope I respect my dear PC’s  temporary sacrifices for my better and let that hope rust in some Ghajini rod.

!!! FIRST FAILURE !!!

Tension trailing down the head, body drenched by sweat, the atrocious chill down the spine- I always thought that the failure would be just like this and much more devastating, but last year I actually experienced the four-lettered worked which starts with ‘F’ but doesn’t end with ‘K’.

My half yearly examinations banged on with the Catastrophic Chemistry taking the lead. The question paper didn’t seem as terrible as I thought it would be, but as my pen trolled across the blank answer sheet. As the time circulated, I reckoned that just like the blank answer sheet, my brain was also blank.
Half-baked answers, otiose cheating attempts and blah blah blah. If those crazy attempts weren’t enough for my crazy head to ‘screw-up’ the puking paper, I began to draw crazy cartoons at the back of the question paper, pierced the eye balls of those cartoons with my pen and passed threads in them, and then tied over a knot around them. Devastating, crazy and true!
…and soon the three hours passed like a whiff of a wind.

Then came the Pathetic Physics, with its evil intentions. The pen was in no mood to wander across the one lined page field, as my head was blank, blanker from the damn’ beginning. No “blahs” to scribble as I ain’t good at notorious numerical and delusional derivations. Sheet by sheet children emptied, I sat still and silent with my hollow head thinking nothing, doing nothing. Was I nuts? Or was the teacher. She allowed me to cheat! Infact she asked me to cheat! , but she did that intelligent thing when the remaining time wasn’t that intelligent. In lieu of giving me the much awaited opportunity earlier, she had been asking me silly questions like “Why aren’t you doing the paper?” and I was retorting in a sillier and eco-friendly way “Just Conserving trees” I replied.
And then came the old n gold(shiny shit) yet not sold M!d@r#h$d Mathematics. Like always he greeted me a much awaited head-ache.

I again tried, tried and tried again,
Alas I came to know that I was just deep-frying my brain!

But by crook fastened with a hook, I somehow managed to shit-up the paper by scribbling over the false and fake marks with someone’s red pen, but still the marks couldn’t cross the border between the pass and fail, so I played with the total marks to cross the border line. Anyhow it worked and it didn’t. I wasn’t pass and I wasn’t fail but landed on the boundary, on the border between the pass and the fail, but the two bloody assholes waited for me there to drag me into the well of wail.
I wasn’t dead, but was I alive???

PAPER- A short movie

Last year, when my papers got over, on a boring day i decided to do something interesting, though the outcome was boring just like that day, but still i think the video is quite bearable.
So spare your 6 mins. to bear my first attempt.

Made using My Sony DCR-HC46E for recording and Windows Movie Maker for editing errors and terrors (Premiere was giving me format headaches)
Please express your burps!


Its NOT inspired from "Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets"

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE / SLUMDOG CROREPATI: REVIEW

With the news of Slumdog Millionaire's constant winning streak . I got curious to know what the heck's in the movie. And since its releasing on 23^rd Jan and so are my annual papers, I thought when will piracy play its vital role. So I searched it over the net and finally found the English version of it on orkut.

a still from slumdog millionare

Plotty Potty:

Based on Vikas Swarup's novel "Questions and Answers", Slumdog Millionaire is a not-so-ordinary rags to riches story of a boy named Jamal Malik told in a not-so-ordinary way.

Jamal Malik (Dev Patel) participates in Kaun Banega Crorepati ( Indian version of Who Wants to Be A Millionare) to find his childhood love Latika (Freida Pinto) where he is accused of cheating.

The movie starts with Jamal being interrogated by the police about how he knew the answers to all the questions. The movie unfolds as Jamal narrates his sour n' sweet experiences behind every answer.

So is the movie really so good?

1. Ya b) No c) Not really d) Damn' You

and the answer is… 'c' … Slightly overrated and over-awarded.

And about the acting ?

1. Fine b) Yuck c) Good d) Brillaint

   
   

And the answer is… 'c'

It could have been brilliant.

Though the acting is well ( neither good nor bad) but the movie in English is a little bit undigestible. Plus that Mr. Salim, as he grows not only his English improves but he starts speaking with a lil' bit of brit accent (not even gujarati Patel). Anil Kapoor and Saurabh Shukla were good. Irrfan Khan looked boozed. Latika (Freida Pinto) looked beautiful and acted beautifully.

Kudos to the child artists in the movie, especially the youngest Jamal and his brother Salim.

The movie has got its own flaws (KBC was never telecasted live) but the director Danny Boyle knew how to hide the flaws with his intelligent story-telling.

Soundtrack:

The background score by AR Rahman goes along the mood of the movie (the O Saiyya,Ringa Ringa,Sitar music)

Craziest Scene:

When youngest Jamal jumps in shit to get the autograph of Amitabh Bachchan (the fake one)

Coolest Scene:

Old bollywood style of increasing the age, but I really liked the scene when youngest Jamal tries to steal the food from the train.

Sucking Scene:

The AR Rahman's 'Jai Ho' comes before/along the credits with a damn' dance number (which looked similar to ek challis ki last local's kya hua jo lari chuti… but this one was more weird looking)

When expectations exceed, celestial bodies decrease.

For Slumdog Millionare